Pakistani wedding in France: mehndi, baraat, nikah and walima

A Pakistani wedding is experienced over several days. Each stage has its own atmosphere: songs and percussion for the mehndi, the emotion of the nikah, the solemnity of the rukhsati, and a large reception for the walima. In France, families often adapt this schedule to the weekend and to available venues, without giving up the essentials. Here is a typical sequence and the organizational points to plan.

The days before

Dholki

In the weeks or days before the wedding, the family gathers for singing evenings accompanied by the dholki, a small drum. These meetings, often at home, also serve to rehearse the mehndi choreographies and to bring the two families closer.

Mayun (or ubtan)

During the mayun, relatives apply to the bride's face and hands a paste of turmeric, oil and chickpea flour, the ubtan, which is supposed to beautify her before the wedding. The bride is dressed in yellow and the ceremony remains intimate. A similar ritual can be organized for the groom at his family's home.

The mehndi

A festive evening

The mehndi is often the most joyful evening of the wedding. Both families meet there, sometimes each arriving with their own songs and dances. The bride, dressed in green, yellow or bright colors, receives henna on her hands and feet while guests dance to the sound of the dhol.

Organizing it

The mehndi requires a hall with a dance floor, a decorated stage for the couple, good sound equipment and often a henna artist for the bride and her close relatives. The setup is very similar to that of an Indian mehndi: our article on the mehndi and sangeet evening details the items to plan and the budget.

The baraat and the nikah

The groom's arrival

On the wedding day, the groom arrives with his family and friends: this is the baraat. He often wears a sherwani, a turban and sometimes a sehra, a veil of flowers. The bride's family welcomes him with rose petals and flower garlands. The bride's sisters and cousins reserve a few playful trials for him: the doodh pilai, where they offer him a glass of milk in exchange for money, and the joota chupai, where they hide his shoes and only return them for a ransom.

The nikah

The nikah is the religious marriage contract. In the presence of an imam and witnesses, each spouse expresses their consent, and the mahr, the gift due to the wife, is fixed. The contract is then signed by the spouses and the witnesses. In France, only the civil marriage has legal value and it must be celebrated at the town hall before any religious ceremony: so plan the town hall a few days before or the same morning.

The rukhsati

At the end of the day, the bride leaves her family to join her husband's family: this is the rukhsati, a moment full of emotion. The Quran is often held above her head when she leaves. Allow time for these goodbyes in the schedule: they are not rushed.

The walima

The walima is the reception offered by the groom's family, often the day after or a few days after the nikah. It celebrates the union in front of the community and often brings together several hundred guests. The bride usually wears an outfit lighter and paler than the red of the baraat. As it is a second large meal, some couples choose a different venue and caterer; others negotiate a package for two days.

Organizational points

Venues

Depending on the families, men and women may be hosted in separate spaces. A modular hall, with two spaces or a partition, avoids many headaches. Also check the permission for percussion, the end time for music and the number of parking spaces. Compare capacities and prices on our list of reception venues.

The meal

Biryani, karahi, nihari, seekh kebab, haleem, naans and raita, then kheer, gulab jamun and zarda for dessert: the menu must be halal and, in most families, alcohol-free. Ask for a tasting and specify spice levels, for children as well as for guests discovering this cuisine. Compare Pakistani and Bangladeshi caterers: capacity, staff, equipment and the possibility of serving over two days.

Outfits

The bride traditionally wears a red lehenga or a gharara for the baraat, richly embroidered, with family jewelry. Fittings take time, especially if the outfit is ordered from Pakistan: allow several months and plan for a seamstress in France for the final adjustments.

Photos and video

Each stage has its highlights: the ubtan, the henna, the arrival of the baraat, the signing of the nikah, the rukhsati, the walima entrance. Give the photographer a precise timeline and designate a relative who will indicate the important people to photograph.

Planning timeline

• 12 to 18 months before: dates of the different evenings, venues and caterer, checking availability for two consecutive days.
• 9 to 12 months before: photographer and videographer, DJ or dhol players, decorator for the mehndi stage and the walima stage.
• 6 months before: order outfits, book the henna artist, invitations presenting each evening and its dress code.
• 1 month before: detailed timeline of each day, seating plan, division of roles between the two families.

To understand the rites common to many Muslim weddings, consult our Muslim wedding guide.

Frequently asked questions

How many days does a Pakistani wedding last?

Often at least three days: the mehndi, the baraat with the nikah, then the walima. In France, many families group these stages over a long weekend.

Can the nikah take place before the town hall?

No. In France, the civil marriage must be celebrated before any religious ceremony.

Who organizes the walima?

Traditionally the groom's family, who then hosts the guests from both families.

Is it necessary to have two different venues?

Not necessarily. The same venue can host the baraat and the walima if it is available two days in a row; ask for a weekend rate.